When a relationship ends, the grieving process begins.

When a relationship ends the loss experienced is similar to the reactions experienced when a loved one dies. We know that everyone experiences loss differently and that the process is unique to each individual but both these situations trigger the grieving process.

Getting over the end of a relationship can take a long time and it is important to allow yourself time to process your grief and come to terms with the loss. You may pass through the stages of grief in the order outlined below or you may experience one stage more intensely than another. It’s also normal to find yourself going back to a stage you thought you had passed through or even feeling stuck in a stage.  

Shock/Disbelief:

In this stage, you may feel numb, not really able to take on board what has happened. You may feel confused with thoughts such as “this cannot be happening”.

Denial:

This is the stage in which you may refuse to accept the loss. Choosing to focus on your work or other activities to block out the painful emotions and to avoid allowing time to think about what has happened.

Anger:

This is the stage in which you can feel quite violent emotions towards the person that has left or you may internalise those angry thoughts. You may identify with feelings of restlessness, panic and anxiety.

Bargaining:

During this stage, you may have thoughts about what you could have done to stop the person leaving. This is the “if only” stage where we consider “if only I had done this or that” or “I had not done this” maybe things would have been different and he/she would not have left.

Depression:

You may feel that you just cannot raise the energy to do anything and everything feels very hopeless. You may be experiencing feelings of great sadness about the loss.

Acceptance:

Often the final stage and the one I can help you achieve, this stage is characterised by a feeling of acceptance and coming to terms with the loss and the impact it has had on your life. This is the time to start rebuilding and moving forward with your life to feel happy again.  

If you are experiencing an ending of a relationship and feel you need some support to understand this process, then please contact me via the contact page or give me a call. I am here to support you.